On 22 October I sacked my lawyer citing irreconcilable differences after he insulted me and discriminated against me multiple times. The final straw were two conversations where he asked me repeatedly what health care I wanted, firstly not allowing me to answer, then when I started to explain my ACC rehab plan from 2009 he told me it was meaningless. He then started repeating the same thing about what care I wanted over and over again, one of the times he did it very slowly. There is something seriously wrong with the man and I refuse to deal with him, also given my severe stress disorder I no longer trusted him. He also called me things that were sexually derogatory in nature and extremely offensive to any woman my age.
I sent WGNCriminallegalAid all the correspondence between me and the lawyer to prove my case as I have had serious issues with in the past. Although I emailed the complaint they have refused to send me the legal aid decision electronically, they sent it by mail so I have had to type it out to post it here. Firstly my response to their decision letter. then you can see their decision letter which will shock you.
Last time they refused me legal aid for this current case that is now almost two years old, I was not quick enough – because I was so unwell and did not know what to do that I missed the 10 day deadline. This time the letter dated 5 November arrived at my home on 10 November so I only have 5 days to get it done. These complaints are very distressing – mostly because I know I will be ignored but also because of the gross injustice I am being subjected to just for wanting my ACC care reinstated after winning two reviews nine years ago.
11 November 2019
I disagree with the decision to withdraw legal aid and not provide another lawyer and want it reviewed by someone who isn’t corrupt for the following reasons.
- The first lawyer you gave me didn’t work in the Wairarapa region, it was only two days before court and I contacted him, he had never heard of me. He told me then he didn’t work in the Wairarapa and hadn’t for years. Legal Aid Services already know this from previous complaints that were ignored.
- The second lawyer was Jock Blathwayt and at the time there was a conflict of interest and Jock agreed it wasn’t appropriate for him to be my lawyer. Legal Aid Services knew this and still prevented me from getting a lawyer for over a year, illegally.
- Preventing me from getting a lawyer not only seriously traumatised me and caused me humiliation and harm, it also delayed my case and perverted justice. Which has resulted in me being charged with 25 different minor spurious crimes since.
- The relationship with the lawyer broke down as my valid complaint and request to have my case reassigned proves. Which you are unjustly and cruelly ignoring. This is a valid reason to be given a new lawyer according to laws you quote.
- It would be an injustice for a purposely impoverished disabled Civil Society Actor in area of suicide, abusive mental health, sexual abuse care, homelessness, civil/human rights and inequality, to be denied a lawyer. Especially when I live in the district with highest rate of suicide and self-harm in New Zealand.
As Jock Blathwayt and I are no longer in this legally conflicting situation, if you want to reassign Jock that is fine with me. It is not me who the problem here, it is corrupted Legal Aid Services and the appalling disrespectful behaviour of your staff and lawyers like Alisdair Ross who specialise in denigrating victims of abuse with mental health issues.
Still horrified you stated in your letter that the first lawyer was forced to withdraw or dismissed by me when you know from previous complaints he didn’t work in Wairarapa.
Civil Society Activist
On behalf of the Legal Services Commissioner
5 November 2019
Ms J R
(for enquiries: Kathryn Ross 0800 253 425)
Legal aid no: (which I won’t give you
Lawyer : (which I will give you if you want me to)
Your Case: Fail to answer bail: other acts/statues; Wilful Damage, Other charges < 6 mths x2
Dear Ms J R
About your legal aid
On behalf of the Commissioner, we write in response to your numerous emails requesting us to reassign this matter from Alisdair Ross to a new lawyer. We have considered your request and now respond as follows:
- We will not assign you a new lawyer, and we have decided to withdraw aid, because it is no longer in the interests of justice for you to receive it (s 29(a)(ii) of the Legal services Act 2011 – “the Act”)
- We refer to the Commissioner’s “Granting Decisions – Guidelines”, which set out the grounds for reassigning or terminating aid. The relevant part of the guidelines reads:
- It is expected that reassignment and terminations of assignment will occur infrequently.
- To request termination of an assignment the lead provider (lawyer) and/or aided person must submit a written request to the legal aid office, which sets out the reasons termination is sought,
- The aided person can request a change of provider once: a second reassignment may be only in exceptional circumstances. Grounds for reassignment are:
- Conflict of interest.
- The provider has insufficient time available.
- — not relevant
- —- not relevant
- A genuine breakdown in professional relationship such that the case is unable to be advanced.
- ——- not relevant
- To date, you have had 2 lawyers assigned to act for you in these matters. We do not accept it would be in the interests of justice for a third lawyer to be assigned to represent you, or for aid to continue, for these reasons:
2.1 The 2 lawyers who have represented you are competent and experienced. They have been dismissed by you, or been forced to withdraw, for reasons which have no bearing on their competence or skill.
2.2 The Commissioner’s policy on applicants (such as yourself) requesting a change of lawyer is clear. You have previously been made aware of this policy.
2.3 Exceptional circumstances do not exist here which justify us granting you another lawyer. Any breakdown in professional relationship in this case has been caused by your behaviour towards previous lawyers.
2.4 This is not the first matter in which you have caused your relationship with lawyers to break down. We refer, for example, to legal aid file 18866786 which concerned a wilful damage charge you faced last year. (Note from me: I had a great lawyer, Suzie Barnes, we lost the case and the two officers who violently assaulted me and threatened me with worse lied in court – but Suzie was still a good lawyer, just way out of her depth. Especially when ACC lawyers Meredith Connell threatened a judicial review that would taken months if she kept asking for the REAL NAME (they give false names) of my ACC case manager to be subpoenaed as a witness to prove she contacted me by phone and promised me my care would be reinstated. When Suzie asked for CEO of ACC instead, the big guns really came out. Suzie is not part of a huge legal company like Meredith Connell, she could not defend me. There were also other perversions of justice. As a result of losing this case I threw red washable poster paint on the white ribbon banner inside Masterton police station that said SPEAK OUT AGAINST VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN and left a piece of art as well.
2.5 We refer to Cant v R (2013) NZCA 513, Pitiroi v Police (CRI-2012-463-38), and Pointon v Police (2013) NZHC 2352. These cases establish the fact a defendant is not legally represented does not necessarily mount to a miscarriage of justice, or a breach of the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act (BORA). (NOTE: I could not find these cases on any legal database.)
2.6 You have had ample opportunity and been given the right (more than once), to receive legal assistance without cost, as provided by s 24(f) of BORA. However the Supreme Court noted in R v Condon (2006) NZSC 62: “…. If the accused…. Is rightly refused legal aid….. there will have been no breach of the s 24 (BORA) rights.” (NOTE: Found this case and it doesn’t apply to my case at all.)
2.7 Here, it is reiterated, you have been given reasonable opportunity of legal representation twice. It cannot be argued unfairness accrues to you, based on this ground.
2.8 We have no confidence, if we assigned you a third lawyer, your behaviour towards that lawyer would be different from your behaviour towards your previous lawyers. (NOTE: What behaviour, last few lawyers been OK, just not Alisdair Ross.)
3.10 S 3 of the Act imposes a duty on the Commissioner to deliver legal aid efficiently and effectively. Given the above circumstances, it would be neither efficient nor effective for us to assign a third lawyer to act for you, or for aid to continue.
2.S 31(2) of the Act requires us to give you a reasonable opportunity to make submissions about why aid should not be withdrawn. Accordingly we will give you 10 working days from the date of this letter to make these submissions which, once received, will be considered by us. (NOTE: So if they weren’t forced by law to listen to reasons for not withdrawing legal aid then they would just ignore me anyway. Oh boy do these people hate poor people!)
We have written to your lawyer about this decision.
If you wish to discuss this further, talk to your lawyer or contact Kathryn Ross on 0800 2 LEGAL AID (0800 253 425) or by email WGNCriminallegalaid@justice.govt.nz
Yours sincerely (lol shd have been faithfully – no sincerity in this letter)
If you disagree with the decision made you may apply for a reconsideration using the reconsideration form on our website or calling Kathryn Ross………..
(I phoned and was told just to send an email).
This is the first time I have read the document properly and I found a whole heap of other BS I never saw before. Like my lawyer last year Susie Barnes was a good lawyer, just way out of her depth and resources. The lawyer I have had in the past have been OK, they all got me off vast majority of my charges – I only been convicted of 3 things – Wilful trespass of Law Society for going there and refusing to leave until I got a lawyer – graffiti a few years ago and wilful damage last year. I have been charged with DOZENS OF CRIMES, MULTIPLE TIMES – most of the charges never even ended up in court because police would drop the charges after three months, just before it got to a serious court sitting. Gee I wonder why!
I had to represent myself – I was capable of it then – against DHB wilfil trespass charges for a legal protest I did and I won – the case was so bad and their witness the security guard had never been told about BORA and the rights of people to protest on public property. I asked for compensation for being put through that court case unnecessarily – I was insulted, degraded and ridiculed by the CEO at the time for even asking.
Anyway, must get back to Criminal Legal Aid and add to my complaint above – I HAVE A LOT MORE TO FKN SAY NOW. WTF are these people on?? Lawyers don’t like me for my protests about wanting me and other mentally injured suicidal abuse victims – mostly women – to get the professional ACC treatment care rehabilitation and homes we are entitled to under NZ law. Mmmmm the legal profession – terrorising a victim of sexual abuse who asking for health care they entitled to – now why would they possibly do that – ewwwwww. Do you think Kathryn Ross might be these abusers in the system’s madam – just like that woman did for Geoffrey Epstein. Ewwwww
Below are more emails I have sent to Wellington Criminal Legal Aid, I post them to show people what goes on, validate if its happening to them and to give people knowledge of how they might approach something similar.
Sent: Tuesday, 12 November 2019 5:37 PM
To: firstname.lastname@example.org <email@example.com>
Subject: I have more to add to my complaint and request for a new lawyer
I have just read your decision thoroughly – I was too traumatised and unwell by what I had read earlier to do it. I see I have until the 19 November before the 10 days is up to provide the information necessary for you to consider. I have found several other things you have said that have me in shock, especially about lawyers, my lawyer Suzie Barnes was great, just way out of her depth. She still says hi to me in the street and has told me how deeply distressed she is that she cannot represent me due to her lack of resources and the horrendous injustices I am up against at the hands of very powerful cruel corrupt people. Injustices all people with mental health issues are experiencing at the moment according to the United Nations human rights reports I have seen and been involved in as a Civil Society Actor.
Please advise me urgently the names of these PREVIOUS LAWYERS where there was a breakdown of the relationship because of MY BEHAVIOUR towards them???? Please advise me what that breakdown was, you must have written record of it because I cannot recall many details after this long. You must have information on your file about what happened with each of these lawyers that is inaccurate and I am certainly not aware of. Did the bad ones I sacked for good reason say I was mean to them and lie about what happened – gee I wonder why they would do that?
Is this something to do with how all established lawyers accept #metoo sexual harassment and denigration of women as normal within your profession/industry, because that is what it feels like.
I think I might have sacked two really bad lawyers in the past nine years since I was forced to protest about being illegally denied ACC care, cause they were both really bad and didn’t know how to deal with my BORA related criminal charges for my NON-VIOLENT LEGAL CHALLENGES of people in power. I’m pretty sure I got better lawyers after those two and won both cases, one of them in the Appeal Court from what I remember of the years of fighting for health care and justice I am entitled to under NZ constitutional laws and signed ratified UN treaties. Please send me the details since you are using them to terrorise and pervert justice now – least you can do is full disclosure of these allegations and what I am up against so I can refute them.
Please advise how I look up the case law you quoted about what you are doing to me not being a violation of NZ BORA – which of course it is – I hadn’t actually thought of that, thanks for the tip. I didn’t realise I was supposed to be a qualified lawyer with access to case law in order to defend myself against the Legal Aid COMMISSIONER. I thought the point of disabled poor people getting legal aid and lawyers was because they didn’t know the law and particularly couldn’t access things like case law to defend themselves against very powerful abusers of power, right and justice. I am quite sure my situation is nothing like the case law you quoted, given the inaccurate and deceitful things you have referred to in your decision.
If you know I cannot access those case law examples of why you are not violating BORA through the internet then please provide copies of them in full.
Mmmm trying to think of those lawyers I had before Suzie Barnes? I remember one guy, who was a proud member of the National party, withdrew when I said I didn’t trust him, because I don’t trust anybody, I don’t know any badly abused and neglected abuse victim who does – I was in shock and very distressed he was allowed do that. You’ll have to remind me of any others, people with Complex PTSD who subjected to prolonged psychological, physical and economic trauma often forget things that aren’t important.
Sounds like you’ve all been discriminating against me, gossiping and illegally sharing information about me that isn’t even true. That must be why I have experienced such toxic hatred and bigotry from Legal Aid services – I could never understand why and what was going on. I would imagine cruel corrupt bigots within NZ police and mental health services would also have information you would be relying on, please provide anything like that as well. Is it any wonder at the UN Human Rights consultation process last year, the lecture theatre at Victoria of about 50 people, all but two were there about serious human rights abuses against people with mental health issues – just like me. Which it appears you are participating in with regards to me simply getting a lawyer.
From news reports and lawyers I have spoken to it appears to be more a case of lawyers choosing to do commercial and easy law for rich people that pays well, rather than actually uphold law and protect poor and disabled people from abuses of power.
I would also point out I have a serious life-threatening stress disorder with related communication impairments, especially when subjected to discrimination, degradation, insults and bigotry, as is the life of a many disabled people with Complex PTSD – as a result of sexual violence and criminal neglect. I have serious, well founded, trust issues and once someone loses that trust the professional relationship can break down – YOU WOULDN’T BE ANY DIFFERENT IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU. No rich person would have accepted what was said to me, they would have got another lawyer immediately – so why should a poor person be punished and have their legal aid illegally withheld.
So please consider my email yesterday just the beginning of my evidence – you will have received all of it by the 19 November, when you can put it all together and consider it – lol. I expect the rest of your file in the next few days so I can check it for accuracy.
Also I would like to comment that your letter was extremely litigious considering I am a disabled lay person citizen and you are a Commission, not a court. Perhaps my idea of transferring all commissions, tribunals etc back under our traditional legal system has more merit than I first thought.
Please provide the information requested above in the next two days so I can be sure to provide all the evidence you need, within your 10 day time limit, to make a right and just decision.
I can certainly feel the bigotry, hatred and evil of passive inaction many affluent people who work in justice, welfare and health exhibit towards disabled people like myself.
Sent: Tuesday, 12 November 2019 6:40 PM
To: firstname.lastname@example.org <email@example.com>
Subject: Sorry this wasn’t the case the numbers and names didn’t all match up
I can’t find Cant v R or Pointon v police or Pitiroi v police so far, please provide a link or copies of these cases.
I did find R v Condon – which has no relevance to my case whatsoever. My wanting to sack Alisdair Ross is to do with ongoing behaviour I didn’t like but put up with, but definitely could no longer cope with after his extremely bizarre bigoted insulting behaviour of recent phone conversations about me getting my ACC care reinstated and what that involved. Also about him making sexually inappropriate derogatory comments calling me a Cougar – ewwwww – which I had not done anything about, except tell him how bad it made me feel – which he did not acknowledge or apologise for. I felt it necessary to mention it after the phone calls as it was relevant and I should have made a formal complaint about it but was too scared I would end up with no lawyer and after the appalling treatment I had received from Legal Aid Services and Law Society in the past knew they would just abuse me for it. #metoo and kia kaha to all those innocent young women in the misogynist world of law.
EVERYBODY had been telling me for ages my criminal case had nothing to do with ACC illegally withholding health care and I even have a criminally corrupt psychiatric report to say I was delusional for even thinking my criminal case and civil rights abuses by ACC and others were related. So the discussion Alisdair and I were having wasn’t even related to my criminal case, it was related to what health care I needed, entitled to by law and wanted from ACC. Apparently ACC had a list of OTs to choose from and as soon as I made the decision my care would be reinstated after waiting nine years and winning two reviews. As they have said this at least three times before over past nine years and failed to do it I would only believe something like that unless it happened. ACC telling a lawyer (or ACC reviewer) they will do something doesn’t mean it will happen, ACC have told lots of people my care would be reinstated but it never did. Also I have been in regular contact with ACC begging for my care to be reinstated, they have never sent me a list of OTs to choose from. The one they guaranteed would reinstate my care last year refused to do it WITHOUT REASON – I made complaints, they were ignored.
My situation makes the Condon case irrelevant and that you quoted it, you corrupt! If you want to get really legal about it. I don’t blame the lawyer from withdrawing, I would have as well, this was a business deal gone wrong, nothing to do with politics or civil, disabled, human, economic social and cultural rights and violations of criminal law by police, ACC, Forensic Mental Health, DHB, etc WHICH MY CASE IS ABOUT. Thank you so much for the information though, its really interesting. I was at law school before I was raped and my life destroyed by ACC and those supposed to care for, rehabilitate and protect mentally injured victims of crime. It took me until 35 yrs old to work out what I wanted to be and it was all taken from me. I now live destitute and still fighting for ACC entitlements so I can heal, return to work and be able to live with dignity and in safety, now I am 54 I am not allowed a student loan. I also live with a $7,000 student debt from trying to get the qualifications to follow my talent and my passion.
Sent: Tuesday, 12 November 2019 7:08 PM
To: firstname.lastname@example.org <email@example.com>
Subject: I have searched the following database I found with no results, do these cases you refer to even exist?
Below is the database I searched with all the information you gave me about the case law you were relying on – they all came up NO SEARCH RESULTS.
I would have thought with all those numbers and details at least something would have come up. Do these cases even exist, are you that corrupt you make these things up to mislead and further oppress disabled oppressed #metoo victims of crime? I know there is a huge amount of evidence being presented by victims against Crown Law perverting justice in the current inquiry into abuse and torture in government institutions. Quoting Crown Law case in regards to a sexual abuse victim, fighting for treatment care rehabilitation and home they are entitled to in order to recover and return to as normal a life as possible under ACC and other laws, seems to me an even more evil crime against victims. What do you think?
I am due in court again on 18 November I will make sure to provide this information to the judge
6 November 2019
New Zealand Police
IPCA – independent haters of human sewage like me
It is with terror and self-harm that I am writing yet another complaint I know will be ignored, as every other complaint I have ever made has been and things have only got worse with regard to my treatment by Wairarapa police. I am so traumatised by what happened I desperately needed to talk to someone about my complaint so I phoned the number for Police HQ I got some other non-urgent number. They told me they were putting me through to a police complaints line, but they put me through to the main police line and I didn’t realise.
I phoned them about 4pm and would like that recorded interview accessed and listened to. Except for the bit at the end when I found out it wasn’t a dedicated line for police complaints and I had been on the main line taking up time, also that the person wasn’t going to send the complaint she had written to IPCA as well as local police – not that I trust either after the years of psychological and physical abuse I have been subjected to for my justified legal protests about abusive mental health services and others.
Last time I complained I am sure the person sent it to IPCA as well, I was expecting that to happen, I got upset with the woman on the phone, because she said it wasn’t procedure.
I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to do this – you are never ever going to do anything – making these complaints is worse than what they are doing to me – because you never stop it, no matter how many complaints I make you never ever stop them.
I’m not sure how this is going to turn out so I apologise in advance if it is all over the place, has spelling and grammatical errors, I won’t be able to go through and check it when I am finished I will be so distressed.
A warrant was issued for my arrest Friday 1 November after me breaking my bail conditions accidently regarding seeing ????? in front of my parked car putting money in the meter and I lost it and starting singing at him.
I was told by email, although I am sure a police car came down my street to make sure I was at my home. The officer didn’t come in but the email I received from Jennifer Hansen said there was a car available to pick me from Carterton and take me to Masterton. I refused as I was looking after my daughter’s dog for the week and as police had already said they would oppose my bail I couldn’t go in as there was nobody else to care for the dog. I said I would come in Monday morning. Hansen told me to be there early in the morning. The email is available if you want proof.
On Saturday I wrote a five page letter about what happened, long hand as I have no way of printing out typed documents at the moment. It was to the Presiding Judge and a copy for duty lawyer as I knew my mental health was really bad and ability to communicate was more impaired than it had ever been. This is what I call ‘managing impairments related to my disability’, which is how I was taught to approach things when I studied disability at Massey a few years ago.
As I had been incarcerated the entire day previously and ended up flipping out at the judge because of it, I didn’t hurry to get to the police station to hand myself in. I dropped off the letters, was assured the judge and lawyer would get them then returned to my car, parked along the street back of Masterton police station. I intended to get some chalk from the boot and go chalking some poetry on the street outside court and police station. It helps me deal with the disempowered way I am treated.
When I was coming back past the back of the police station two police officers followed me and arrested me, took me back to the station and processed me. But even from when I was walking in I started not being able to speak/communicate properly, I was obviously very unwell and very distressed by what was happening. When I was put into the cell I sat on the bed for about 5 mins but I was still freaking out really badly and started to rock backwards and forwards. Then all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball in the corner of the cell on the floor so I did.
Foetal position with my hands over my face – WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS – WHY DO YOU MAKE ME MAKE COMPLAINTS AND THEN DO NOTHING AND THINGS ONLY GET WORSE. I don’t want to remember what happened, it makes me want to kill myself I feel so despairing – all this just because I want my ACC reinstated after winning two reviews nine years ago.
Any officer that came near me I couldn’t respond to, I just cowered in the corner even more. I was there for hours. Then two officers came in and started to ask me questions, I was frozen. A male officer, who I didn’t see because my eyes were closed & my hands over my face asked me if I was awake, I couldn’t respond, he touched me and I flinched. He then said something about DHB phone call and I knew I couldn’t cope emotionally about what he was about to say so I put my fingers in my ears as strongly as I could. Putting my fingers in my ears is a common automatic response for me when I am psychologically overwhelmed.
I still couldn’t calm myself so I started involuntarily banging my head against the wall where I was sitting, which helped, I kept doing this for a long time. I peaked out from my position & couldn’t see anybody in the room so I stopped and relaxed a little. I couldn’t cry which was a really weird feeling as I was very distressed. I was numb.
I never responded to any officers the entire time I was there. I did eventually get up off the floor and walked around a bit but if I heard the buzzer of the door I immediately walked into the corner with my head away from the door and put my hands over my face. I was in the cells a long time police had other customers, men who came and went. I looked out of my cell and they waved out to me but I couldn’t speak – this is not like me I am usually ok at verbalising and last time I was in there all day I was singing and self-harming for most of it. I hit myself repeatedly and do other things to self-harm, I don’t cut myself – too scared. Anything to make the pain I feel at what happening to me not be so overwhelming.
I finally got out of the cell and two older officers that have terrorised and insulted me were there – Cunningham and Basher. I was cowering from them, I felt safer with the man in black clothes attending to me. I was moved to the court cell, which I am afraid of after a really bad experience there last year coming over in a transport vehicle having been arrested in Wellington when protesting at Human Rights Commission. I was so cold, the vehicle was so cold and the cell was so cold and I was left there for so long. Going back in there triggers me further. I had managed to be able to communicate a little more and starting singing. I was there for ages too, I saw the duty lawyer who refused to read the letter and started asking me questions. I started answering them but quickly became angry and upset and ended up screaming at her so was removed. This is similar to what happened when they kept me in the cells all day the last time. I was trying to manage my disorder so I didn’t scream at anybody, that is why I wrote the letter but she wouldn’t read it.
I finally saw the judge, almost last person for the day, I had sat in the cell for hours listening to all the names being called, waiting for my name. For years the court had been accommodating my disorder and knowing how stressed and unwell I get put me up as early as possible so I could leave and go home.
The judge had my letter all day, she already knew what she was going to decide. I did start to cry when I finally got in front of her and represented myself reasonably successfully as I didn’t have to say much more than the letter. Judge Morris knows my case well and knows all I want is to leave and go home. It only took 10-15 mins to see her. Police did oppose bail, which she ignored thank God. I did start crying in the court and was distressed when the Police lawyer prosecuting me brought over tissues – why do people who are hurting you for a job want to be nice to you, it really screws with my head when police and others do that.
When I finally got my bail forms to sign the security guard acted strangely and told the registrar lady I had been in the cells since this morning when I dropped off the letter for the judge. They looked at each other ‘knowingly’, but didn’t say anything to me about that not being OK, it was more a feeling I got over the days following. I didn’t tell the security guard, who I get on with and feel safe around, about how distressed I was in the cells because he doesn’t like it when I’m in that bad a state (in a caring way). He has seen me in that sort of mess (state of unwellness/trauma/stressed) before outside/inside court a couple of times.
It is deeply humiliating when I’m that terrified and traumatised I act out like that – but I try my best to think of it as part of my disability and not beat myself up even more about it. However I do often have a serious suicidal episode some time later, anything from a few days to two weeks later. As I get no services, am terrified of mental health almost as much as police and have nobody to talk to who is capable of supporting me, I go through those horrendous things alone at home. Complex PTSD has a 60% mortality rate because of suicide and I know it is a life and death situation for me every time I go through. I still don’t know how I make it and I do know it traumatises me more because it is like experiencing your best friend trying to kill you and put you out of your misery. You so desperately want to die because you can’t get help or justice you know you need – and from what you read, you are entitled to.
Police know what happens, they know how suicidal I am, they know what distresses me the most, they have become very good at triggering and psychologically manipulating/terrorising me. Keeping me in the cells all day is something they know causes me to flip out, which of course makes me look bad and them justified in their actions – WHICH THEY ARE NOT!
I have always maintained Wairarapa police are purposely inciting me to suicide so I don’t protest about the illegal unjust things happening to me (and other people disabled by Complex PTSD) at the hands of ACC, police and other very powerful cruel corrupt immoral people. I know from my own past experience and what other Wairarapa people have told me police here are really mean to suicidal people, which I am sure contributes significantly to Wairarapa having highest rate of suicide in New Zealand & highest rate of self-harm in the OECD.
Also the complaints from ????? about violating my bail conditions were full of lies about what happened. Police said I approached him, which I definitely did not. Both of us were surprised when I looked up and he was right in front of my car. Note: there are angle parks with one central metre for about 10 of them. I only opened my car door and stood there singing with one arm on car roof and one on the door, for less than 30 seconds.
I emailed Jennifer Hansen the next day asking for the CCTV footage because I was thinking about the security guard comment to the court registrar. It can’t have been right that I was kept there all day, especially in the extremely traumatised state I was in. Felt if a doctor or psychiatrist had seen the situation he would not have allowed police to interrogate me further about other charges. People extremely traumatised who have Complex PTSD have to be in a less distressed state to be able to even answer questions and not to be traumatised further.
I DON’T WANT TO WRITE THIS, WHY DO YOU MAKE ME DO THIS ALL THE TIME AND NEVER HELP ME, NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME, NEVER MAKE IT STOP. Those violent assaults you ignored, those two officers who lied in court, the one who threatened me with seeing how bad police could be if I kept protesting – you never did anything. The assault with handcuffs that has left me permanently damaged you never even asked her to apologise, which is why I wear my wrist brace whenever I protest or have to see police for anything.
When they were thoroughly searching me before they put me in the cell on Monday the two woman asked me to take it off, at which I flinched and backed into the corner of the fingerprint room – they knew why. I did take it off and show it to them. They even said they knew I didn’t like being touched – which I don’t – few, if any, persecuted abuse victims with Complex PTSD do.
I emailed Jennifer Hansen the next day – did I say that above? Asked for the footage, complained about being kept in the cells all day in the state I was. I also asked about what the two officers who came into the cell actually said because I couldn’t hear them with my fingers in my ears as tightly as they were & banging my head against the wall. It was two more complaints, one of them was a blatant lie by one woman saying I had threatened to get people to come and hurt her – which is a blatant lie. It is a fundamental principle of mine that God or Karma is the one to dish out punishment – NOT ME. I would not threaten it or for anybody else to do it EVER. I do hope the bad things happening to me and other terrorised impoverished abuse victims in New Zealand happen to these people. Because I know what they do is going to hurt an innocent poor person, but that appears acceptable to our government at the moment, no matter what Jacinda Ardern says publicly.
Now police have got people telling lies or they are on their behalf????? It is very distressing, nobody believes anything I say due to bigotry, hatred, false statements by health ‘professionals’ & being discredited by public mental health services, police etc. This is the experience of majority of mentally injured abuse victims and certain mentally ill people in Wairarapa that I have met – usually protesting in the street.
Jennifer Hansen said I will be charged with the further two charges when I go to court on 18 November. I did refute the allegations about threatening harm vehemently by email.
It might be relevant to have the letter I gave to the judge on Monday morning but it is handwritten and I have reached then end of my ability to cope and need to get this complaint sent. I can’t stop crying…………………… Please make them stop, please I am begging you, as I have begged you before, but you never did anything. Wellington police were never as bad as Wairarapa have been……………………….. I am exhausted
(It has been very difficult sharing this with everybody, because I am terrified someone will call the police ‘concerned for my welfare’ and they will just hurt me more.)
Civil Society Activist
PS I hope the Red Cross and Wairarapa DHB are happy with the cruel and unjust treatment I received from police because of their complaints. I’m sure they’d be happy if I killed myself too – just like my brother. ANOMIE in action.
Wrote that headline to get your attention and I was guided to, make it sound real. Tell a new story of what is possible, what it would look like and how it would operate, along with the benefits to peace, justice and harmony in our small country.
Land distribution is a serious issue, the market model has failed in this basic social need and must be brought back under control of the State. I propose as a world leading sustainable social strategy where we completely abandon the ownership model in respect to land and adopt the Maori model of being caretakers of it.
This would affect foreign ownership and ownership for private interests rather than the interests of peace, good health and harmony in our society. Te Tangata Te Tangata Te Tangata must be adhered to and bought under our collection of Constitutional laws, which I believe support this concept through Imperial laws like Westminster Statute the 1st and Magna Carta. Also multiple United Nations signed and ratified treaties (I know are not being adhered to) along with the Commonwealth Charter and Declaration of Democracy, which is embodied in Rule of Law being adhered to.
Our National Anthem talks about defending ourselves against dissension, envy and hate, take away the things causing the rise in such destructive expressions of inequality and elitism, like resolving land/resource distribution issues. The 35 year neo-liberal experiment results are out folks, greed, pollution, violence, crime, drug addiction, suicide, poverty amidst obscene wealth and extravagance, along with brainwashing marketing us into consumers and worse. We don’t need to do years of research into how to fix it, we know how to fix it – those in power just choose not to in the best interests of powerful global and local elites, not society as a whole.
This concept could address the issue of rises in food prices because wealthy foreigners can afford our food and we cannot – this cannot happen any longer. We cannot feed the local pigs better than we feed local people. Again a failure of the free market that needs to be addressed to bring fairness and right back into New Zealand society.
Supermarkets need to be dismantled, they too have abused their market monopolies, No more selling meat, café food, vegetables, deli items, bakery items and alcohol.
Sorry dreaming away – what the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve, according to writer Nepoleon Hill. George Monbiot talks about giving people a new story, to replace the current story that isn’t working. They don’t want to hear the problems just the solutions. Write a list of demands to address the housing, suicide, poverty, decent employment, violence, crime, health care crises within three years.
I saw the news item below thinking how finally the media are saying something about 35 years of destroying our culture and decent society with their neo-liberal REFORMS. But once I started reading it realised it was just about wanting people to want government to cut taxes. Nothing about getting rid of this 24/7 economy they have created WHICH IS KILLING US, DRIVING MORE TO SUICIDE THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.
The bit about going to other countries to find out how to fix it made me want to be sick. We know what to fkn do, we were doing it until greedy corrupt business people decided they wanted to change it and make more money for themselves and destroy US PEASANT TENANTS AND WORKERS! When the jealous greedy powerful people around the globe decided to rape our resources and our workers – drive our children to suicide, cause women to be raped and beaten with domestic/flatmate violence due to our leading the world in homelessness and unstable housing. On top of that drive women to self-harm and eating disorders.
I have a book called Death of Economics (Ormrod) from 1980s, an American talks about New Zealand being the country that went from one of the most protected economies on the planet to one of the most open. Said he didn’t know how governments would get away with something like that, they wouldn’t get elected again anywhere else. But neo-liberal elites did the greatest brainwashing con job on us- through media and universities, driving neo-liberalism down kids throats like there WAS NO ALTERNATIVE. I’ve done a paper in economics a few years ago at Victoria, the entire learning programme was about rote learning BS that didn’t even make sense but if you didn’t learn it the way they wanted YOU WOULD FAIL EVERYTHING AND NEVER GET A DECENT JOB. Grrrrrr It was our universities that turned bosses into arseholes obsessed with getting money out of people any way they could.
There are some very powerful people in and associated with this country that knew exactly what they were doing when they did these REFORMS and they knew exactly the outcome as well. EVen the way they called them reforms without saying neo-liberalism or Austrian economic model. The meaning of reform is improvement, 35 years later we know the only improvement was in how much wealth, land and money the richest people had.
They knew they were going to terrorise and destroy people THEY DIDNT’ GAF, They knew they drove 100,000s NZers from this country desperate for work and decent bosses – destroyed families. I was reading something recently that said small countries are exploited – ie environment and workers, by big countries in an open global market – WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING. Rich pig business people destroyed us and our culture, driving people to suicide and violence etc they just worked out how to create more jobs and profits out of it – with a big smile on their faces.
And don’t even start me on the charity, not-for-profit industry and how that has caused so much harm as people like me are rejected because I am intelligent and proud. While addicts who will do anything for a fix to feel OK suck up to the legal and illegal DRUG PUSHERS. I noted how the Samoan lady working huge hours had her husband at home with the kids while she did all the work. And look at the amount they were getting back from Working for Families $100s of dollars. And these FAMILIES who get WFF are some of the worst bigots and haters I face because I’m rotting on disability and don’t work.
Knowing all this and what is happening to me through police, courts and mental health it is quite obvious our government are grossly corrupt and they know it. Shutting me down and driving me to suicide makes them not feel so guilty and/or stupid.
More to write on this but won’t right now, I got to get in my garden, my brain and body need it.
I follow Nils Melser this was on his twitter feed. Should make a complaint, not sure if I will have the strength, I have made so many. Also I can’t print anything and send it my computer no longer prints out.
Just so police know, I don’t agree with fascists like this, I just find them interesting as they tell me what the worst, most ignorant, right-wing fascists think so I can do something to oppose it.
You havn’t been listening to me – you are obsessed with this idea that we are individuals and don’t need other people – which is grossly untrue. I’ve met three GOOD health professionals in 17 years, all of them were completely committed to supporting the person to heal in the way they needed to. That is what Occupational Therapy is all about. And I will again say THERE IS NO HEALING WHILE THE PERSON IS LIVING IN FEAR WITHOUT THE BASIC NECESSITIES OF LIFE LIKE SHELTER AND FOOD SECURITY. Which currently is 20% of the NZ population 1 million people – mostly women and youth. Gee and NZ has highest OECD stats in youth suicide and women self-harming – go figure.
Also, what might apply to a man DOES NOT APPLY TO A WOMAN, especially in the domain of trauma. Men have to be self-reliant in more ways, although they still need ‘brothers’ – women are different we are NATURALLY reliant on men for safety and others for talking our problems through. I don’t have a man for protection and my female friends are themselves so traumatised they can’t handle me talking about my fear of police and compulsory incarceration under mental health act FOR TELLING THE FKN TRUTH AND ASKING FOR HEALTH CARE I AM ENTITLED TO.
Mental health workers are bunch of self-righteous power tripping either psychopaths or co-dependents – mostly idiot Christians and deeply depressed people with revolting personalities that nobody would be friends with so they get into that line of work for the ego boost. That is why I have so many problems with mental health services who genuinely HATE me and discredit me in the community cause I criticise them for making my region No 1 in NZ for suicide. I’m intelligent, I understand my disorder, I know the law and rehab, I know how they are supposed to behave and when they do it wrong, I know the science, I know politics. I can see straight through an abuser or a co-dependent CLINGON.
I agree with your sentiment but you’re just not understanding what we are both suggesting is essentially the same thing, I just know more of the jargon. I studied Health 101 and rehab at Massey University for a year by correspondence. When told to read a chapter I read the book plus I got out every book I could on trauma and studied that far beyond 1st year level. I learnt their jargon, I learnt their models – that’s where I discovered Mason Durie and Whare Tapa Wha. I become highly suicidal at the end and could not continue my area of study – BECAUSE I KNEW THEY WERE NOT APPLYING ANY OF THESE THINGS IN THE AREA OF HEALTH FOR MENTALLY INJURED ABUSE/TRAUMA/NEGLECT VICTIMS – it made me more unwell knowing this. Although the jargon I learnt taught me how to interact with them using their language and proves without doubt in the area of Complex PTSD they are persecuting people purposely – we are the new Jew.
Was researching new Suicide Prevention maggot in Wairarapa, he has made completely inaccurate statements for years that mentally ill people are not violent or dangerous – WTF. One of the symptoms of Complex PTSD is violence according to all scientific literature I have ever read!!! Govt and police and MH know it as well. They study same books/information I do. This ignorant bigot started his new job by putting even more propaganda in the local free newspaper and other media – the same organisations that dont’ work for 80% of us because they are filled with issue ridden psychopaths and co-dependents, as I said before. Combine that with the regular meetings they all have with mayors, local ‘social’ business leaders, MH services and police of course – so they all think the same BS – and I know my name comes up regularly.
Did you see my chalking outside Masterton Police station yesterday – I took a video, its on my youtube channel link below. Said I’m being bullied and there’s no-one to tell. What about you? ReFuSe corrupt authority.
I’m going to be involved in that inquiry and tell Debbie Francis what I have seen and heard in regards to my case.